The Power of Vulnerability
Originally drafted in 2016
Thanks to social innovations like Timehop, we’ve gained the ability to travel back in time via the interweb on a daily basis. I was reminded recently of my time as a student-athlete at the University of Illinois, and more specifically, of a team meeting where we discussed vulnerability.
It is one of about three team meetings that stick out in my mind. It happened during my most memorable year in college: my junior year (2011) when we advanced to the NCAA Volleyball National Championship match. And I can say with confidence that if that meeting had never happened, we may never have had the tools necessary to come together as a team and advance to the National Final for the first time in University of Illinois Fighting Illini Volleyball program history.
We started that season with 20 wins and no losses. Those first 20 wins were not pretty. On more than one occasion, we started the game with a two set deficit and came back to win in five sets. Somehow, though, we found ways to win.
Our goal for that season was never to finish the season undefeated, but rather to win the National Championship. So when we finally lost our first match on the road in four sets to the University of Nebraska, we (eventually) understood that it was all part of the process. What we didn’t understand at the time was how crucial that loss would be to our future success.
That loss prompted a meeting in which we discussed vulnerability and the importance of that skill within our own team. As I recall, the 17 of us and our coaching staff went around the room saying what we were afraid of. That sounds like a very simple task, right? Why would that be difficult? It’s just words.
Except one thing - voicing your fears ALOUD is very difficult to do. Why? Maybe because if you say aloud what goes on in your mind, it could affect how you’re perceived by others. Maybe because you’re afraid there is some truth to your fear. What if it’s not a fear but a reality?
A good chunk of people in that room were intensely afraid of failure at the time. Some of us were afraid of disappointing our fans, friends, or families. Some of us were afraid of not living up to the hype. Some of us were afraid of letting our teammates down.
The amazing result of that meeting is: after we were vulnerable with each other, and because we knew each other’s weaknesses, we became an even stronger team than we were before.
Vulnerability is one of the most underrated character traits in leadership. As a society, we often view vulnerabilities as a weakness; as a possibility of rendering ourselves defenseless. But if you’re never vulnerable, how will you ever know how brave you can be? Finding, understanding, and exploring our vulnerabilities not only allows us to improve and get better, it allows us to be human.
Dig in. Be vulnerable. Be human.
